


On The Flip of a Coin

by nomisupernova



Series: An Arrow to the Heart [4]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Abandoned Work - Unfinished and Discontinued, Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Alternate Universe - Gods & Goddesses, Alternate Universe - Modern with Magic, Feelings Realization, Gen, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Internalized Homophobia, Internalized Transphobia, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pining, Protective Siblings, Slow Burn, Trans Dave Strider, toxic masculinity
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-09
Updated: 2018-12-16
Packaged: 2019-08-21 02:59:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,941
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16568333
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nomisupernova/pseuds/nomisupernova
Summary: “Shit news is that we’re gonna have to sleep in a car for two days. Good news is that Roxy got her car ready to go. Great news is that Roxy and I got an apartment in Chicago big enough for all of us and we’re moving on my birthday.”A fic predating the events of the original trilogy of my "An Arrow To The Heart" series from the point of view of Dave.





	1. On The Flip of a Coin

**Author's Note:**

  * For [turntechClockwork](https://archiveofourown.org/users/turntechClockwork/gifts), [weaksauce](https://archiveofourown.org/users/weaksauce/gifts), [apocalypticTaco](https://archiveofourown.org/users/apocalypticTaco/gifts), [commaAbuser](https://archiveofourown.org/users/commaAbuser/gifts), [alkalinePessimist](https://archiveofourown.org/users/alkalinePessimist/gifts), [AnMochi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnMochi/gifts).



> Hello! Sorry for the very long absences from writing, I'm going through a lot right now! It's NaNoWriMo but I don't think I'll be participating in any meaningful way other than being excited about my word count at the end of the month. Either way, I hope you enjoy this fic. <3 There will be DaveKat in the next chapter so I've gone ahead and tagged it ahead of time.
> 
> This fic has been gifted to the wonderful people who get very excited for my writing and comment and discuss with me while I live-write. <3 Cheers to good friends who support you.

You bob your head gently to the beat of this new rap band that Dirk showed you and silently sing along to the lyrics. Bro said that you had to come with to go get Dirk today since Rose is at school now and she can't watch you while he goes to get Dirk. You got to stay home today since you were so sick from dinner that you threw up on the floor last night. Oh  _ man, _ Bro was  _ mad _ when he found out, but he made Dirk clean it up because he at least felt bad enough that he didn't make you do it. It's fine with you, anyway. 

You like car rides because Bro lets you play music on the radio and doesn't care what you play. As you pull up to the high school, you watch Dirk roll his eyes and whisper something to his friends before he pulls open the passenger seat door. He clicks his tongue when he sees you and slides his headphones down around his neck.

"In the back, kid." He jerks his head in the direction of the back seat.

"But I'm still sick, I wanna sit in the front." You clasp your hands together and try to look small, not an easy feat when you’re about to turn thirteen but hey, you can try, right?

"Rose will sit with you when we pick her up. If you wanna sit with your sister on the way to her mom's house, you gotta sit in the back." Dirk opens the door a little wider and stands up straight to get out of your way. He's not really giving you much of a choice at this point, it's more like "the delusion of choice" as Rose would say. Or maybe it was illusion? You don't really remember. 

You slide your legs out with a tiny bounce and open the back car door and slide onto the seat. Dirk reaches back and buckles you in, placing a kiss to the top of your forehead and he ruffles your hair with his left hand before closing the door and getting into his own seat in the front. 

"Good song choice, Dave." Dirk nods at you from the rear-view mirror and turns the radio back up until the back seat is practically thumping with the beat.

You smile, it feels good to make Dirk happy. He's super cool and you honestly care more about impressing him than your stupid Bro, he's an asshole anyway, not that you can admit that to him. He'd kill you if you ever told him you didn't like him. He'd kill you and then bring you back to life to kill you again if you mentioned that you liked  _ Dirk _ more than him. 

Down the street from the high school is the school that you and your sister Rose go to. She doesn't live with you but Bro is her dad too so she sometimes comes over to visit. You don't think they like each other much since Rose is always calling him "Father" even though it makes Bro  _ really _ mad when you say that. But whatever, it's none of your business anyway, you couldn't give less of a shit about them not liking each other, you just like to hang out with your sister. 

Mostly because she actually listens to you and Dirk seems to just put up with you half of the time. Dirk is almost 18 and he said that when he's 18, he's taking you and leaving with Rose and Roxy too since their mom is shitty too. Well... okay, you  _ guess _ she's your mom too but she's not really around so you don't really care about her.

After you all get to your apartment, Bro kicks you all out of his car and says he has to go work and drives off. Dirk shakes his head at Bro and mumbles that he's an asshole under his breath and walks the two of you up the stairs to your apartment. It's a long walk but it's nice to sit on the floor after you're all done.

"So... I got some good news, some great news, and some shitty news. What do y'all wanna hear first?" Dirk asks you and Rose as he fishes a Dorito bag out of the cupboards that aren't totally packed to the brim with swords.

“Shit, good, great. Obviously people naturally want to be disappointed first and then get their hopes up.” Rose leans against the counter in the kitchen and idly plays with her nail polish.

“Right, okay.” He cuts the top of the bag open and sets it on the counter, you stick your hand in and pull out a few chips and munch on them while he talks. “Shit news is that we’re gonna have to sleep in a car for two days. Good news is that Roxy got her car ready to go.  _ Great _ news is that Roxy and I got an apartment in Chicago big enough for all of us and we’re moving on my birthday.”

_ “Really?” _ Rose raises her eyebrows but doesn’t stop fucking with her nails. “And just how are you going to do all of that without Father throwing one of his famous fits and ‘giving you a famous beatdown so sick that Texas itself had to call off of school’ as Dave would say?”

“Well what do you think I was doing all day, Rose? Just because I was standing outside of the school doesn’t mean I was actually there. I was down at the courthouse filing adoption papers with Roxy. She’s adopting you and I’m getting Dave.”

“Another matriarchy vs patriarchy?”

“We’re going to be living together?” You ask, not really understanding exactly what’s going on. You knew about the adoption papers and that you would be moving but you didn’t know that you would all be together.

“Rose, no. Dave, yes.” Dirk slides some papers out of his backpack and hands them to you before pulling them back. “Wipe your hands, cheeto fingers.”

“They’re Doritos,” you mumble but wipe them off on your jeans and look through the papers. They all look really official and they have stamps all over them and they’re all dated for December 3rd, tomorrow. “These all have the wrong day.”

“They forward-dated them since I won’t be filing them until tomorrow. I already called myself off of school but Bro doesn’t know that.” Dirk gets on his knee and gets level with you. You’re glad he wears his glasses because you have a lot of trouble looking people in the eyes. “You’re gonna be alright, Dave. And you too, Rose. We’re gonna get you and Rose away from your fucking psycho parents and give you a better life.”

“A little magic won’t hurt either.” Rose whispers and flicks her fingers, sending black sparks from the tips of them.

“And  _ that _ is another thing. No magic here. You’re lucky we could pull off your last little stunt easily enough by saying you were playing pranks. We don’t need you to get in trouble at this new school.” Dirk puts his hand on the top of Rose’s head. “I know you have a gift.”

“It’s more of a blessing, dear brother.”

_ “I know you have a gift. _ But you need to keep it under wraps. There aren’t a lot of magic users in this modern age and you don’t want to get caught using that. People don’t like what they can’t understand. Roxy can keep hers to herself, aren’t you always touting that you’re better than her? If you really are, then can’t you do this?” Dirk continues. 

“I suppose… but I never claimed to be better than her, just more put together.” Rose flicks her finger in Dirk’s direction, sending black dust in his direction and smattering onto his glasses. 

“Whatever. Just be cool, yeah? I have to make a few calls but I need you two to pack all of Dave’s stuff and tuck the boxes away under my desk.” He takes his sunglasses off and wipes at the lenses with the bottom of his shirt before putting them back on his nose and pushing them up into place. “Get it done, kids. I’ll order you a pizza when I’m all done.”

* * *

 

Sleeping that night is rough, even with a stomach full of pizza. You dream of the walls vibrating to the beat of some unknown song and it inspires you enough to take out a mixer you've never seen before, but it feels... right. Familiar, even. Your fingers dance across the buttons and dials as though you've been using it for years until the sound in the walls comes into focus. 

It almost sounds like someone's voice and the rhythmic thump of a heart. Another sound crashes in, like blood rushing to your ears and your eyes flutter shut, only to be woken by a hand shaking you awake on your arm. You gasp, terrified for a second before the face in front of you comes into focus.

"Hey, hey hey." It's Dirk, looking concerned as ever and almost... nervous? You wonder what's wrong. "Were you having a bad dream?"

You shake your head, "I don't think so. There was a lot of music and I got to fuck with stuff until I got it to do what I wanted."

"Hmm..." he thinks for a moment, chewing at his bottom lip. "Well my room is a mess. I told you about those dreams. We need to keep everything together and you gotta get those dreams under control. You fell asleep without those headphones on again, didn't you?"

You shrug, "They hurt my ears."

Dirk sighs, putting one hand on your shoulder. "Dave, you know I love you, right? I want to keep you safe, if Bro knows about your magic... your powers, he's gonna freak out. So you gotta use those headphones."

"But aren't we leaving today?" You ask while you rub the sleep out of your eyes.

"We are, yes. But you still need to wear them in the car and when we get to our new place, you can take them off as often as you like. We can't have you dozing off in the car and sending everything flying. Or worse, sending the car flying. You don't want Rose and Roxy to get hurt, right?"

You shake your head, of course you don't. Your powers only came in this year, you weren't expecting them at all since Dirk got his when he was eight just like Rose and Roxy did. Rose and Roxy got Light Manipulation, if Rose's old books are right, and Dirk got Data Manipulation. You got Sound Manipulation which means you can mess with sound itself. You can even push things around if you make too much noise without thinking about it first. 

"You'll get more of a handle on them when you're a little older but for now, you have to be careful." He kisses the top of your head. "Now get ready for school, I'm gonna go with but I've got my house keys so I'm gonna loop around the block and come back to pack my own stuff with Roxy while Bro is out. Don’t worry, if he comes here, we can take care of it. Okay? I love you buddy.”

“I love you too dude.” And with that, you get dressed for school. It doesn’t take long and Dirk combs the knots out of your hair for you. He even keeps it cut for you and takes care of you more than Bro ever does. Dirk had to get a job kind of early and kind of illegally to keep you fed and clothes but he never really complained. You think he always knew he would have to take care of you, somehow.

After you’re all ready, Roxy pulls up in her car and the two of you get in with her. She doesn’t even say hi like she usually does, and instead looks forward, a cold stare on her face. It makes you wonder if you did something wrong.

“She’s not mad, she’s nervous about today. Just stay calm and take the ride home from Bro today. I told him Roxy was taking me home so he should take you straight home since it’s not his day with Rose.” Dirk reassures you and looks at you from the side-view mirror as you pull up to school. “See you after school. Be safe.”

“Bye Dirk.”

* * *

 

School is boring and honestly kind of uneventful, you can't focus in a single class because you're too worried about Dirk. You tap your pencil on your desk during your last class of the day as you watch the seconds tick by. Luckily, it's just a study hall that you share with Rose so she keeps an eye on you to make sure you don't lose your cool or your grip on your powers. 

You were able to get a pass to use your headphones at school because you have ADHD and one of the "assigned focus tools" they let you use is music. So with your beats in your ears, you're able to keep a steady tempo in your head and focus on that instead of fucking with everything around you on accident. 

Sound powers are so dumb. You can tap your pencil to a random beat and send everything in the room flying or blast the windows out of a building if you scream. It's really goddamn unfair that you got stiffed with shitty powers like this and Rose gets to manipulate light. You wish you had cool ones like that.

Something taps your hand and you look up to see a note next to your wrist, you unfold it to see a flash of purple writing that says "Take a breath" in curvy eccentric cursive. You know that this is Rose's handwriting and that it's good advice so you do calm down for a second. The message flashes again, annoying stupid light powers and their invisible ink bullshit, and it disappears. You focus on your breathing and close your eyes until you hear the bell ringing over the sound of the beats Dirk mixed for you and a fingers taps on your shoulder. 

"Ready to go today, brother of mine?" Rose reaches up and slides your headphones down and around your neck. 

You adjust them so they're not so loud and roll your eyes at her, "Am I ever not? Lets get the fuck out of here."

"My thoughts exactly but that's not why I stopped you, Dave." She puts her hand in yours and pulls you into the hallway. You're about to pipe up and complain that your books are still in the classroom but since you're leaving today, you guess it doesn't really matter. 

"Well what's up? Whatdya need?" You try not to look super bored and tired because you know she hates when you look like that. But, honestly, you didn't get great sleep last night so you're kinda really fucking tired and you're not one to hide your emotions all that well without your glasses on. And you tried to get your school to allow you to wear them during class but they wouldn't.

“I just need to remind you to be good today and that no matter what happens, you need to stay calm. Father is definitely going to be very upset but I need you to stay relaxed. He’s an adult and he can handle it. Alright? Please.” Rose looks like she knows something you don’t and you assume that has something to do with her powers. 

“Whatever man, it’s cool. I can be chill. Chiller than an ice cube in a snow storm in-”

“I get it, you’re ‘chill’ and great. Now, shall we?” She links her arm with yours and leads you down to the front of the school where you usually get picked up.

Typically, you’d wait with her for Bro today but she’s going with Roxy to get their stuff first from their moms house. So she instead just leaves you there and pats your shoulder with a look that you don’t quite understand and with that, she’s gone. You watch her from the corner of your eye as she climbs into Roxy’s car with her. You hope that Dirk was able to get any of his stuff in there since his car is kind of small and you’re not sure how much it can hold. At least Roxy has a van but Dirk just has a regular car.

Bro pulls up not long after and you climb in as you usually would, nodding to him. You close the passenger door and tap your fingers to the beat of the song he's playing on the radio. It's almost unsettlingly normal, which makes you think that he has no idea that you're planning on running with Dirk today. The drive home is quiet and he pulls up and kicks you out of his car as usual. 

This might actually work out. God you hope it does.

"One second. I need to talk to your brother." He says in his usual clipping tone, you swear you haven't heard the dude speak in a week so it makes you stop dead in your tracks and freeze where you are.

"Okay." You don't want to make him mad so you just sit tight and keep quiet. He can be a real fucking dick when he's mad and even worse, he can get violent too. 

He parks his car and follows you up the stairs to the apartment, his car keys jingling in his hand as he twirls the keyring on his finger. Dirk is already up there, sitting in the living room by himself, playing some shitty skating game on the Xbox. This is all pretty normal.

"Hey what's up?" Dirk says without looking up.

"Just wondering what you're up to today." Bro says, voice level.

"Uhhh... probably just gonna sit here and watch Dave. Why?"

"Nice. I need you to keep an eye on him while I go clean out your room."

You freeze in place but Dirk looks calm, as usual. "Don't even worry about it, Bro. I already took care of it today and cleaned up everything. I even came home early from school to scrub down the kitchen."

You see Bro's eyebrows lift, "Really."

"Yes,  _ really." _

"Then you won't mind if I go check the kitchen." Bro asks, voice down turning slightly. 

"Why would I lie about something you can easily check?" Dirk scoffs, sitting back a little more. 

Bro clicks his tongue and walks over to the kitchen. Just like Dirk said, everything is all cleaned up and put away. "Where are my-"

"Your bedroom. Filed away and even polished. You're welcome for that, by the way." Dirk says cooly. Wow, he really did all of that work? You kinda wonder if Roxy helped him because it actually is really fucking spotless in here.

"Whatever, I'm going to work. Don't fucking trash it while I'm gone." Bro curls his lip at Dirk and heads for the front door. He stops for a second, inspecting the door frame. You hear Dirk's breath catch in his throat and realize something is wrong. "What's this scuff here from?"

"I don't know, probably from your equipment." Dirk answers, tightening his hands on the controller. 

“No fucking way, I’m careful and I wouldn’t scuff shit.” Bro snarls back and starts checking the walls, running his hands along it. You’re not sure what he’s looking for but if he’s looking that pissed off, it can’t be anything good.

“I really do not fucking know, Bro.” Dirk answers flatly.

“If you cleaned up, why would there be an old scuff here anyway?”

“I must’ve missed it.” Dirk reasons but Bro isn’t having any of it.

“Right. What the fuck are you hiding from me?”

“He’s not hiding anything!” You cut in and bite your tongue.  _ Fuck. _ Stupid stupid stupid.

Bro leans down, eyes level with yours. A chill runs up your spine as he looks you dead in the eye and mumbles, “And how would you know that if you were at school all day and not plotting some fucking bullshit behind my back?” 

“B-because he just said that to you.” You swallow the lump in your throat and remember what Rose told you.  _ Keep calm, do not freak out, Dirk is an adult and he can handle it. _

“It’s probably from the mop bucket I was using. It’s fine, Bro. Everything is clean and spotless. You’re going to be late for work if you don’t get a move on.” Dirk stands up and puts his hand on your shoulder.

He pulls you back toward him and it makes you feel a little safer, but you still tap your fingers on your leg just in case. Keep calm, keep calm. Dirk can handle it. The even tempo of your tapping is helping but you're not going to feel totally off guard until you see Bro drive off. 

"Chicago." Bro says and you keep your face as blank as possible. Do not give him a reaction, do not show him fear or joy. Keep still.

"What about it?" Dirk asks, hand gripping just a little tighter on your shoulder.

"Don't act fucking ignorant. I'm not as stupid as you think I am. I can hear you on the phone with Roxy at night and I heard that you were planning a little trip there." Bro lifts his eyebrows again, "Were you planning to walk off with my son?"

Dirk scoffs, pulling you back again so you're next to him instead of in front of him. "You don't give a shit about him, don't fucking act like you do now. You know damn well that you'd be better off if we all left so you could be alone. Isn't that what you always wanted? For us to fuck off and stop dragging you down?"

Bro laughs, a sickeningly normal sound from someone who's been beating the shit out of you and Dirk since you were old enough to speak. "Oh you're more than welcome to leave anytime you want but you can't take my son with you. He's staying here with me and you can get the fuck out whenever you please."

You close your eyes and do your best to zone out. You  _ know _ they're going to fight and you're afraid of what's going to happen. Their last fight happened before you got your powers and now that you have them, you don't know what's going to happen. The next thing you feel is Dirk flinging you back and... it... it all happens so fast.

Dirk shoves Bro back against the wall and yells at you to go outside but you're frozen in fear. You watch your brother panic for a second before he runs over to you, grabbing you by the wrist and he hauls you into his arms. But Bro is right behind him and he tries to grab you out of Dirk's grasp. When Bro grabs you, you scream but you... you swear you didn't mean to. The next thing you see is Dirk diving to the floor, grabbing your head on the way down, clamping his hand down on your mouth. But it doesn't stop the wave of sound from pulsing through the apartment, sending a surge of energy through the apartment. 

You hear the windows shatter first, then the TV, then all of the glass in the kitchen and everything on the counters fall to the floor. Bro smacks into the wall, slamming his head against the wooden paneling. Your eyes are still clamped shut as Dirk rubs the back of your head to calm you down, whispering to you softly that you’re okay. It takes a second for you to hold yourself together long enough to stop screaming your head off and calm down again.

“It’s okay. You’re okay. He’s out cold, you’re okay.” Dirk coos to you. You hate to describe it as that but honestly, that  _ is _ what he’s doing. It makes you feel like a little kid but… well, it actually is helping. You’re just not gonna tell Rose about this. For more than one reason; she’d never stop scolding you if she knew you lost control of your powers. Plus, she  _ warned _ you to keep a handle on it and you couldn’t even do that. You  _ hate _ disappointing people.

“What… what do we do?” You sit up and dust off your hands, ignoring the shards of glass all over the floor. But you are careful not to touch the ground just in case, you don’t want to get all cut up.

“Well, first you need to stand up and grab your backpack. Second, I already packed all of your stuff into Roxy’s car. I’m taking Rose’s stuff since she’s got less junk than you.” You roll your eyes at him, “Hey don’t give me that look, you do.  _ Anyway, _ what you need to do is go downstairs and wait in my car, we’re all meeting at a gas station outside of town to get our shit together. We’re heading straight for Chicago.”

“Wait, you got all of that shit done in one day?” You can’t believe he got all of that shit done so quickly. There’s no fucking way that he got all of that done all by himself. Even  _ with _ Roxy’s help, there’s no logic there. He had to pack four peoples’ stuff into two cars within seven hours? That’s just fucking impossible.

“Well yeah, what kind of brother do I look like? Plus, it helps to hire some movers by fucking with their data a little bit. Don’t tell anyone I told you that by the way. We shouldn’t be making illegal moves like that but we needed the help.” He pats the back of your head again, smoothing out your hair as he does. “Now go head downstairs. We need to be in Chicago by nine in the morning in two days so you’ll be sleeping in the car. I’ve got everything taken care of already.”

You take it all in, nodding as you do. You’re about to head on down but you stop, remembering an old joke between yourselves. “One last thing, dude?”

Dirk raises his eyebrow, “What?”

“Why are we so fucking awesome?” You put your fist out for his.

Dirk laughs and returns the bump, “That’s the best fucking question anyone asked.” 

 


	2. Butterflies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic takes the second chapter's name from _Butterflies_ by samsa which you can listen to [here.](https://open.spotify.com/track/6kVku2CoE7fbD29miiutzw?si=YNzJuuLLRwuePjG1pEYzVA)
> 
> Big thank you to my wonderful friend, Cody aka [coffeebuoy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/coffeebuoy) for helping me out with a bit of the editing on this fic! You're the best. :)

Today was boring, as it always is at this new school. Roxy and Dirk managed to apply to a program for kids who escaped abusive situations. Somehow, they were able to get you and Rose into an expensive private school in Chicago. The only thing that really fucking sucks about that is Dirk, Roxy, and Rose all had to get extra jobs to help pay for all of your supplies.

You, however, were left out of that particular little meeting.

Apparently, they think your powers aren't "developed" enough for you to be in a high stress situation like jobs tend to be. So, here you are, walking into the fourth “quirky” café this week with Dirk and Roxy while they're in between shifts. It’s a good way to make sure that you can all hang out and study together, if needed, that way nobody misses what is going on in anyone’s lives.

"So, rock-paper-scissors for hit or miss with this one or what, my dude?" Roxy asks you, adjusting the shoulder strap on her backpack so it's not yanking her onto the floor. You don't really blame her since college books are heavy, but she _insisted_ on bringing them in instead of leaving them in the car. _"I don't want some bitch to jack my shit, yo"_ was her explanation, so you guess you understand. College books are apparently really fucking expensive and you’d hate for her to have to waste money replacing them, especially since she can’t really afford it with how tight the budget is right now.

"Nah, let's leave this one to chance, I like it better that way. If I really wanted to know what the fuck was goin’ on every ten seconds, I'd drag Rose's ass here with me," you say, pushing the door open. It jangles loudly, how annoying. They should really install a fuckin beeper or some shit. Don't they know this is like, 2012? Honestly, you were raised in _Texas_ and they had better shit than this.

"Besides that, neither of you should be using your powers in public," Dirk peers down his nose at you, "You know, people have been killed for--"

"Yeah yeah, we fuckin’ know, Sherlock Holmes," Roxy interrupts, " _never use your powers in front of other people, one of them might be a god and they'll kill you._ We know the lore, Dirky-Dirk. But when was the last time you saw a god or an angry purist hangin' out in Chicago? I ain’t never seen one and I got a hard time believin’ that someone like that is runnin’ around here of all places. Texas, yeah, but Chicago? Nah."

"I just... have a bad vibe. Besides that, it's not just me, Rose has a weird vibe too. There's like, a big void in her visions around mid 2015. I don’t really want to find out what’s up with that if I can help it," he goes on, "Either way, I think Dave will be fine if he ever does see someone like that, but I dunno... I think there's more to his music shit than just being real good at mixing."

"Well thank ya for the compliment, bro," you take a fake bow and Dirk rolls his eyes at you, "I know, I'm the best, you don't have to say it. I know I’m the hottest shit ever lain on the sidewalk before your bare feet. Watch where you step, you wouldn’t want to get my big talent all over your kicks, dude."

"’Kay, so first off, that’s fuckin’ gross. Second,I'm just saying, I don't think your powers are done developing yet. Rose doesn't think so either and _she_ is the one you should be trusting here. She actually _sees_ shit and everything she sees always happens,” Dirk walks up to stand in line and you follow him with Roxy trailing behind you. “Just be careful and _never_ use your powers around people or _for_ people you don’t trust, got it?”

“Yes sir Mr. Dirky, anything you say,” Roxy salutes and then promptly starts snort-laughing, “Are you gonna shut up long enough to... let me… order my…”

“What?” You tap her shoulder and she’s got that blank look in her eye, you know it well. “Who is it?”

“That guy, up there at the counter,” she points and your eyes follow. It’s the barista, there’s not really a lot of note about him from just quickly glancing, “He’s in my future.”

“Wait-- really? _Here_ of all the places, you found someone like that?” Dirk puts his hand on her other shoulder, “Well now that we know that, how should we play this?”

“I don’t… I’m not sure. Just... be cool.” Roxy blinks furiously and shakes her head, “He’s really cute anyway, but I don’t think he’s my type. However…” Her eyes trail over to you. You swear to fuckin’ god if she’s implying what you think she is…

“I’m not gay,” you answer back as flatly as possible, though the side-eye implication _does_ make you take a longer look at him. He’s… well, he’s got a good face. He’s short, his lips are plump, he looks like he’d be nice to hug, his hands look like they’d be great to-- “I’m _not_ gay,” you repeat, just to… make sure she doesn’t get any ideas.

“Mmmhmm,” Dirk hums, “You know, there’s more than one kind of sexuality, Dave. There’s even different kinds of romantic attraction! There’s pan, bi, demi, ace, aro--”

_“I’m not gay.”_

You’re not. You swear to fucking god you’re not. You just… really really _really_ want to maybe _possibly_ hug this guy. A lot, maybe be best friends. It’s not… gay to think about being someone’s best friend, is it? No. Absolutely not. You’re not gay, bisexual, pansexual, or anything else. It’s not gay to want to be best friends with someone.

“Rox,” Dirk looks over at her and they share a look that you don’t quite catch, but they end their exchange with a nod. Honestly, you don’t understand how those two work. You don’t have the same “twin mood” with Rose, so it really doesn’t make sense to you. Rose won’t tell you jack shit about your powers, she says it has to do with “letting you learn to make your own mistakes and develop from there.” Whatever.

“Hi, my name is Karkat, I’ll… be your barista this afternoon. Welcome to _A Cup of Love_ , how can I help you?” He sounds like someone just plopped him down here, it makes you feel a little bad for the guy.

“New job?” Dirk asks, thumbing through his wallet to fish out the tip ahead of time. Karkat, you think he said-- yeah, Karkat-- nods his head, “Here, you deserve it.” Dirk deposits a twenty into the tip jar.

“Thank you, seriously,” Karkat says, smiling softly at Dirk. _Shit fuck fuck damn sonovafuckinbitch FUCK._ "So, what'll you have...?"

"The name’s Dirk. I'll have a caramel cappuccino, no sugar please." He steps back to let you or Roxy order. You're... honestly kind of fucking in shock right now. You don't know _what_ is going on with you today. Maybe you're just... really excited to make a friend? You can't stop staring at his lips and thinking about how nice they would... nope. Nope nope nope nope. You are _not_ going there.

While you're still lost in thought, Roxy steps forward. "Roxy. Uh… I guess I’ll get a french vanilla frappe with a white chocolate drizzle, one sugar." You watch Karkat's hands as he punches in the appropriate numbers on the register. It feels like someone injected pure fucking ice water into your spine. Got a boy feelin' so froze it’s... _god_ , you can't even focus long enough to make a metaphor. You are so fucked up.

Dirk's laughter pulls you out of your haze, "Come on, Dave, don't be shy. Tell Karkat what you want." He leans in a little closer, whispering quietly. _"Still not gay, not even a little bit?"_

"Fuck you!" You feel fucking mortified, _disgusted,_ you are _not gay._ "Ugh, hi."

"Hi," he answers, voice like a smooth cigarette on the fire escape of a building after a night of passion. "Dave, was it?” he asks and you nod in response, “What will you have, Dave?"

"You," you bite your fucking tongue, _dammit FUCK_ , "You--! You, you uh, you need to get me a mint mocha frappe. Two pumps of mint, three pumps of mocha, extra creamer, two sugars. Please?"

"Ugh. What the fffffffreakin' heck?" You wish a hole would open under your fucking feet and swallow you up. But he keeps going, "You actually _like_ that sugary garbage? And _creamer_ in it, of all the things? Disgusting. You should be ashamed of your poor coffee taste, Dave. Your... uh, siblings? They look like they have much better taste than you. Really, you should be taking after them and not whoever convinced you to like this liquid sugary crap."

“Hey don’t know it ‘til you try it, Karkat. It’s good shit, dude. You got a problem with my mocha-mint baby?” _Finally,_ something to talk about other than how weirdly _pretty_ he is. Not that he’s pretty… er, he’s not ugly either, he just… he’s got a nice face. The face of a friend. Yeah.

"Gross, absolutely fu.... er, freakin' gross," he sticks his tongue out at you and makes a dramatic gagging noise.

Weird, is he like, not allowed to swear or something? Well, it's something, you'll take the conversation. (If anything, it's to keep him talking because his voice is fucking _wonderful._ ) "Aww, what's wrong, Karkat, don't they let you swear on the job?"

His face sours, "No, I can’t I don't want to get fired when I just started a few days ago. Now, if you don't mind, can I get back to what I was up to? I'm on the clock, in case you happened to forget that."

"Whatcha got to do that's keepin' you so busy from talking to me? Ain't I cool enough for you to blow off some time an’ talk to?" You tease him, he's actually being a good sport and he's not taking your jabs _too_ seriously. It's just the kind of quality you're looking for in a _friend_.

"I have to make your order, idiot." He smirks at you, "Unless you don't want your gross hipster sugar water?"

Well, that's enough to make you back off just a little bit, but it gives you an idea. You put your finger up and signal for him to wait, and then you begin the annoying search into your pockets for a pen. Not the front one... no no, not the back... Oh, there it is, clipped onto your notebook in your backpack on the ground. Your favorite pen, you had Dirk fuck with it so it never runs out of ink. It’s a kind of power that you still don't really understand, but you don't really care enough to ask. It doesn't matter even if you did because the explanation is always the same;

_"Magic."_

"Gimme your hand, homie." You wave the pen around, "Imma give you my number so you can hit me up or somethin'."

"Why would you do that?" Karkat pulls his head back and you watch Dirk cross his arms from the corner of your vision.

"Uh... cuz I like you an' I wanna hang out when you ain't workin'? Duh. Are you gonna gimme your hand or what, dude?" He thinks for a moment and eventually complies with that request. He puts his hand in yours, oh _god_ , his hands are so warm and soft. It's really nice, really _really_ nice. You wish you could hold them forever, but you gotta focus. Just write the number down, get your coffee, and wait for him to text you.

After jotting it down, he takes his hand back and looks at his palm. "...Thanks, I guess. Here's... uh, your receipt." He slides the paper across the counter. Then he turns to look at you, "Dave, was it?" You nod, "I'll... uh, I’ll text you later then.” And with that, he trudges off to make your coffee at the other end of the counter.

“He thinks you’re trying to date him.” Dirk supplies helpfully, slinging his arm around your shoulder. “Poor Karkat, he has no clue. He’s gonna fall in love with a straight guy and you’ll be feelin’ all bad for leading him on like that. How could you, Dave? Such tragedy.”

“Aww can it, Dirk. Dave is just tryin’ to make friends.” Roxy gives your brother a playful shove. She presses her hand to her heart and sighs dramatically, “I, for one, am glad. Poor Davey hasn’t made a single friend that wasn’t some cute girl tryin’ t’mack on him since we moved here.”

“Alright alright, offa me. I ain’t no baby and I don’t appreciate all this fawnin’ over me crap. I’m sixteen now an’ I don’t like y’all treatin’ me like I don’t know what I’m doin’ with my life or somethin’, ya get me?” You roll your eyes at them, who do they think you are, their kid? Well… legally speaking, you guess you are, but that shouldn’t matter in this particular situation. You’re their brother and you definitely don’t want them treating you like a little baby who poops hard in his diaper. “I’m gonna go sit down and listen to music, bring my coffee to me when it’s all done, ‘kay?”

“But don’t you want to stay and talk to Karkat some more?” Your brother asks, pointing his thumb in the direction of said hard-working barista. “I’m sure he wants to talk to you again, after all, you’ve gone and piqued his interest. It’d be mighty rude of ya to leave him hangin’ like that, don’t you think so?”

“No, I just… I need a bit, ‘kay?” You know he’ll let you be if you play the introvert card. Besides, you _did_ come here to have a study group with these two. You’ll need it because after this, you have to skateboard back home to wait for Rose so y’all can start dinner for the family. It’s your night to cook and you wanna get a headstart so you can fuck off with your music some more, assuming you have time for that. Math sucks anyway, you were never really all that good at it. But music theory is easy enough though, your teacher seems to like your work since he’s always giving you A’s across the board. He even said you might be able to move on to the AP classes if you keep this up.

“Alright, go ahead, we’ll be there in a bit.” Roxy reaches up to smooth some of her hair back into place. “Get your algebra out first, I remember that class pretty well.”

“Of course you do, your powers let you see the board you had in the past,” you mumble under your breath and walk over to take your seat. You wish you knew what your powers would do, all you’ve really figured out is that your beats always make people smile or cry, they do whatever emotion you put into them. And besides that, you don’t know jack shit. It’s a real fuckin’ load and you don’t understand why they haven’t finished developing yet.

Later that night, after you’ve come down from the weird high of meeting someone new and actually _liking them_ , you find yourself compulsively checking your phone. All throughout dinner prep, Rose has to chide you at least six times for not paying attention. You damn near chop your fingertips off while cutting the pork chops for dinner. And it seems that this is the absolute last fucking straw for your twin.

“DAVE!” Rose shouts, grabbing your phone out of your hand. “Are you serious right now? Who are you talking to that is more important than your own personal safety? This is the third time your mind has wandered in the last twenty minutes. Is there something going on that I should know about?”

“No no no, I just…”

“You just _what?_ ” She’s _very_ much fed up with you _and_ she’s holding your phone hostage in her hands. You’d better at least fess up a little bit so she’ll give it back. You need to know what Karkat says, afterall. You don’t want to miss his call or text or whatever he decides to do with your number.

“I talked to someone new today and I’m waiting for them to text me.” You admit, not quite meeting her eye. She softens a bit, lowering her hand and eventually dropping the iPhone back in your awaiting palm.

She sighs, “If it’s that important, you should’ve at least mentioned it to me. I really don’t want to drag you to the hospital at eight in the evening with no car because you chopped your fingertips off.” She takes the knife off the counter and stands in front of the cutting board. “You’ve helped plenty, go take a seat on the couch.”

You frown, you don’t want her to feel like she has to pick up the slack for you. “Go ahead, Dave. Don’t worry about me, I’ll live. I’ve chopped meat and veggies before and unlike some airheads here, I’m actually paying attention. Please do us both a favor and go occupy yourself with something, won’t you? I don’t want that horrible future I saw for you to happen. You know, the one where I end up calling Roxy to leave work early to take you to the emergency room?”

Well, once she makes up her mind, there’s no going back. You saunter off and plop down on the couch, pulling up some new music you’ve been working on to screw with on your phone. You let it play and your mind starts to wander again. Man, Karkat is really… interesting. You wish you knew when he got off of work. Then, something clicks in your brain and your fingers fly to the search bar of your Chrome browser.

_how do i know if im gay_

The first few things that come up seem semi-reputable, but what do you know? You’re an idiot sixteen year old _googling_ his fucking problems because he’s too shy to ask his very gay brother. It wasn’t any problem to talk about gender when you were six or seven, but being gay? It feels impossible and you… you don’t know. Maybe you just don’t want to talk to Dirk because he seems biased. He’s already got that boyfriend of his who lives in Hawaii or something like that. But… nothing you see here _feels_ right, you _know_ you still like girls. You’ve had a few girlfriends since you’ve been here, and you… you guess boys are nice too? If you had to date one, you’d at least pick a cute one. Regardless, you scroll back up to the search bar again, typing in one of the terms you’ve heard tossed around at school, as well as by Dirk and Roxy.

_how do i know if im bisexual_

Now _that_ sounds a little nicer… but… hmm. You’re… just not quite sure. Just because you think a guy is cute, that doesn’t mean anything, right? I mean, you’re already trans, maybe it’s just some kind of jealousy or something. You just want to _be_ them or something like that. Right? Maybe? Yeah… that’s it. It has to be. That’s the most logical explanation after all.

With that thought in mind, you close out of Chrome, being sure to close all of your tabs and clear your browsing history. Dirk doesn’t look through it or anything, but you just… want to be cautious. You never know if someone from school or a teacher or something might check it.

Dinner that night is slow and quiet, Dirk and Roxy share slightly worried looks as you check your phone over and over. You end up hearing nothing at all, even as you’re tucked into bed later, you check it one last time, hoping and possibly even _praying_ just a little bit that you’ll get _something_ from Karkat.

Your phone says you have one new notification.

You scramble to unlock it and open your messages, only to see that it’s just some alert for flash flooding in the towns along the river about seventy miles south of here. _Great._ He couldn’t even be bothered to tell you no. Well… that stings a little bit. Actually, since you’re already so tired, you have no shame admitting to yourself that it hurts a fucking _lot._ Your face sags into a frown and you pull the blankets over your head, nuzzling your face deeper into the safety of your blankets.

“Stupid idiot, why the _fuck_ would he talk to you when he _clearly_ has better people to hang out with? Real people that he actually _knows_ to talk to? God, what were you thinking? You were never good enough to hang out with anyway. Who would want to hang out with a freak like you? Once people figure out you have powers, you’ll be ostracized. You’re better off just not trying this shit at all. It’s safer that way. Who cares if this boy doesn’t like you? You don’t need to weigh him down.” And with that thought, you ignore the tears dripping slowly down your face and drift off into a fitful sleep.

 

* * *

 

It’s been a week since you first met Karkat at his job. You’ve stopped compulsively checking your phone after the third time you got in trouble in Algebra. Dirk started with his whole “protective sibling and guardian” thing. Fawning over you, asking if you were okay, trying to get you to talk about whatever could be bothering you. Of course, you insisted it was fine, that it didn’t matter. After all, you just wanted to be friends and it’s fine if you don't make friends with every person you meet.

Well today, you plan to go back and demand that he tell you what the fuck his problem is. You’ve already taken the liberty of skipping out on your last class of the day to sit and wait for him at the coffee shop. It’s not like you know exactly when his shifts are or what school he goes to. You don’t think you’ve seen him at yours so all you can do is hope his is a public one since they let out earlier than yours. As luck would have it, just as you’re settling into your seat in the middle of the cafe, a very familiar barista walks over to you.

“Hi Dave,” he says, looking a little bit upset about something. The fire in your brain dies out almost immediately. “Can I take your order?”

“Hey, hold on, what’s wrong, Karkat?” You ask, not even bothering to chew him out like you planned to.

“I… I’m really sorry. About not texting you even though I pretty much fucking said I would. Some ignorant dickwad threw my phone into the lake on my walk back home last Thursday. My… my dad was really pissed off, he... I really wanted to text you, I really really did, I’m so sorry.” He looks so apologetic. He pauses for a moment, “I don’t exactly have any friends whose phone I can use and my older brother doesn’t let me use his phone. I’ve been waiting for you to show back up but you haven’t been in so...”

“It’s…” Well, you really can’t be pissed at him for that. “It’s okay. I’m not mad. I’ll get you a new one. I’m sorry for not stopping in sooner.”

He blushes, “You don’t have to do that. You barely know me.”

“I don’t think you’d actually feel _that_ bad if you didn’t care about me a little bit, dude.” You smile at him, “I should’ve given you my last name too, huh? You can like, find me on my blog and shit. I got a tumblr as cool kids in this day and age tend to do.”

He laughs at that, “Oh god, what kind of blog is it?”

“Music, mostly. Memes, shit like that.” You lean back on the bench a little bit, “I ain’t mad at you. Well, I was, I was awful pissed at you. But like, I dunno, seein’ you feelin’ bad and shit made me think twice. So I guess ain’t so mad no more. You’re cool, I’m cool, we’re cool.”

“Good to hear.” He smiles at you, “Coffee?”

“Right, oh, and it’s Strider. Dave Strider. Like 007, James Bond, but with less license to kill and more like a license to thrill. Hah, anyway, lemme get you my business card.”

“Oh my god, you don’t _literally_ have a damn card, do you?” He rubs his forehead with his hand, it’s _almost_ a facepalm but not quite.

“Nah, that part is _mostly_ a joke, I don’t have one yet. Maybe someday though if I’m ever feelin’ down to card. I’m just gonna jot my shit down for you.” You grab a sticky note out of your bag and write down your blog, name, number, and your chumhandle down for him. “I even got pesterchum if you got that. You can message me on there. I got the app on my phone so I ain’t never gonna miss a message unless I’m like, asleep or at school. Cuz that’s like, a thing people our age do.”

“Don’t you have a job or anything like that?” He shifts his weight from one foot to the other.

“Ahahaha, I fuckin’ wish, yo. My brother says I ain’t allowed to have one until I can get a better handle on my…” you drift off from that sentence, “A better handle on my school work, you know?” He nods, “as for my coffee order, same as last time: mint mocha frappe. Two pumps of mint, three pumps of mocha, extra creamer, two sugars.” You hand him the paper and watch him as he pockets it.

“I’ll be done in a minute. I’m about to take my break, is it like, okay if I sit with you? I mean, you can say no, it’s no big deal. I won’t be mad or anything.” He asks and you have to practically sword-fight the blush from rising on your cheeks.

“Yeah… uh, yeah, of course. It’s a free seat, ain’t it?” You move your bag over. “I’ll be here, waitin’ up for ya.”

“I sure hope so,” he chuckles softly, “now pay me for your coffee.” You dig your money out of your wallet and hand the cash over to him. He takes it and walks back over to the counter. You watch him a little bit longer while he punches in your order and deposits your money into the register.

Then you turn back to your work, you’re nearly done with this song, you just have to listen for any wrong key-presses or bad editing and stuff like that. It sounds pretty okay so far, but it wouldn’t hurt to get a second opinion, you would’ve asked Dirk but you’re honestly a little too embarrassed to ask him. It’s a bit of a love-song, but it’s pretty chill and happy too. You put everything you had, all of your feelings and a little bit of your magic, into this one. Maybe Karkat would like to hear it? You hope it’s not to forward to ask him.

As you listen, you feel your own emotions changing and your heart feels lighter and lighter. You can really only describe the feeling as magic. The stress that was weighing you down feels almost non-existent now. Almost.

You’re lost in the sounds of the drums, Karkat walks over to you and sets your drink in front of you.“Careful, it’s fucking hotter than the Sahara. Are you... working on music?” He asks, sipping a drink of his own. He plops down into the seat across from you and you slide your headphones up and off your neck.

“Yeah, do you… wanna hear it?” You offer your bulky studio headphones to him and he looks apprehensive at first. “Don’t worry, it’s good, I promise. I’ve been doin’ this shit since I was like, eleven. My uh… my Bro taught me how to mix.”

“Your bro? You mean Dirk, the one I met last week?”

Your face sours, “No.”

“Oh, I didn’t know you had another brother.” He takes them from you and slides them over his head. You reach across and flip the switch that blocks out the sound from the outside. After that, you reach down and scroll back to the start of the track and hit play. You already know the lyrics and you listen for them in the background of the song.

[ _Yeah, I just spent a year or two on self discovery_ ](https://soundcloud.com/atlas/sincerely)  
[ _And at the tail end of it you went and fell in love with me_ ](https://soundcloud.com/atlas/sincerely)  
[ _So wake and smell the shrubbery, the roses and the petrichor_ ](https://soundcloud.com/atlas/sincerely)  
[ _And tell me if there's anyone who I'd be any better for_ ](https://soundcloud.com/atlas/sincerely)  
[ _Because honey you're my other half_ ](https://soundcloud.com/atlas/sincerely)  
[ _Sinking ship_ ](https://soundcloud.com/atlas/sincerely)  
[ _Rubber raft_ ](https://soundcloud.com/atlas/sincerely)  
[ _Twinkling lips, lovely laugh_ ](https://soundcloud.com/atlas/sincerely)  
[ _And every bit of what I asked - plus a half_ ](https://soundcloud.com/atlas/sincerely)  
[ _Honestly I've always kind of sucked at math_ ](https://soundcloud.com/atlas/sincerely)  
[ _But a hundred-fifty percent sounds fuckin' rad_ ](https://soundcloud.com/atlas/sincerely)

The song plays out the rest of the way and you watch Karkat’s face go from slightly somber to almost excited and soft. You wonder if your music really is that nice or if it’s your magic. Either way, he looks like he likes it. After it’s done, he slides the headphones off and sits there for a minute.

“You wrote this?” You nod, of course you did. You write and rap all of your own stuff these days. Dirk hasn’t helped you out in years. “It’s… it’s _beautiful._ ”

You blink, “Wait, really?”

“Yeah, dude, jesus fucking christ! You’re really fucking talented, Dave.” Karkat says, looking over at you. “All of this, all of this is you? The rapping too?” You nod again. “Jesus, I don’t even listen to rap but I’d listen to that over and over again.”

“Well shit dude, I can send it to you, if you want it that badly.” You’ve never had someone talk about your music like that in real life. It’s more surreal than a random internet comment or seventy from strangers. It feels like it holds more weight when it’s happening right in front of you instead of behind a screen.

“Please.” He grins at you, “I can’t believe someone as talented as you wants to be friends with some idiot like me.”

“Nah nah nah, you ain’t no idiot. At least, you sure don’t seem like one to me.” You reach across the table and pat the top of his hand, “Not even a little bit, Karkat.”

You finish out your lunch with him as he grills you on your music. How long have you been mixing? How much does this stuff cost? What kind of equipment do you use? Where do you get the lyrics? What’s your inspiration? Can he come hang out and watch you work? Do you write for a living? And when the answer to that last one is “just song lyrics” he looks offended.

“You’d be a wonderful writer, if you ever decide to do that.” He mumbles softly to you, “I’d read anything written by you, Dave.”

You try your best to duel the blush, keep it down. But goddamn it’s got a really good sword arm and you can’t help it. “I… thank you.”

“Shit. God fucking dammit, I can’t believe it’s four already. I gotta…” he looks over at the counter.

“Hey, It’s cool, I was just heading out anyway. You can like, message me on something, if you want?” You reach up and close your laptop, starting the process of packing your stuff away. He nods quickly and you shove the last of your notebooks into your bag. “Alright, have fun at work. I’ll be waitin’ for you to hit me up, that cool?”

“Yeah, of fucking course. And I… I’m really sorry about last week anyway. I know I already said sorry but…” You put your hand up.

“It’s really fine, Karkat. I already forgive you, man.” You do, you can’t be mad at him. There’s something about him that just keeps you from being too mad. Plus he really seems to care. “I’ll talk to you later then?”

“Yeah. Have a good night, Dave.” He looks like he’s waiting for something for a moment before shrugging his shoulders and walking back to the counter. You stand and gather your things, totally not watching him tie his apron behind his back and fluffing his hair in the window reflection. He’s _cute_ , you admit. But you think a lot of your friends are cute, so it’s no big deal, right? You hope so, at least.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Join the Karkat Thirst server on Discord! I live-write fics there! (16+)](https://discord.gg/g5hq6Th)
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> The song mentioned in this fic is _sincerely_ by atlas which you can listen to [here.](https://soundcloud.com/atlas/sincerely)

**Author's Note:**

> This fic takes it's title and the first chapter's name from _On The Flip of a Coin_ by The Streets which you can listen to [here.](https://open.spotify.com/track/20Of7eVar4CrMt40cm3SpI?si=xYh4GMULTWCJ2GyNdS_cTw)


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